


Left Alone

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Other, voltron legendary defender - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 06:48:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11179302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lance has a panic attack in the bathroom.





	Left Alone

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Panic attack, and suicidal thoughts.

Lance, Hunk, Pidge, and occasionally Keith normally had sleepovers. They would talk about life, play an alien version of Earth games (at least thats what they thought was an alien version. Coran’s explanations just made them more confused) and just simply hung out. Lance was always the last one awake and the last one to finish getting ready but Hunk and Pidge always waited for him. Keith didn’t wait for him if he was taking too long but that didn’t really bother him. Keith was Keith. Lance could always count on them.

They would probably help when he was feeling anxious, suicidal, depressed but he didn’t know how to mention it. It’s kinda hard to go up to someone and say “Hey I feel sad. What do I do?” and the few times Lance had done that didn’t go so well.

So on a particular morning, Lance woke up a little later than usual, took a little longer than usual, felt a little worse than usual, and had to go to the bathroom.

“You guys can go ahead. I just have to go to the bathroom.” Lance said.

“Okay,” Keith said. 

“Are you sure?” Hunk asked.

“Yeah Hunk, I’m just going to the bathroom. I’ll catch up with you later.” Lance said. Pidge nodded, Hunk waved and Keith said,

“See you later loser.” as they all left. Lance went to the bathroom trying not to think about what he said.

_Loser ___

____

_Loser ___

______ _ _

_Loser ___

________ _ _ _ _

Why was he overreacting so much? This kinda banter was normal between him and Keith.

________ _ _ _ _

_Loser ___

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Loser ___

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Loser ___

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Stop overreacting Lance! He kept telling himself. Our poor Blue Paladin didn’t even go to the bathroom before he was next to the wall crying. This wasn’t just crying. Sobbing. Almost screaming. No. He was screaming.

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine. You’re fine Lance, stop overreacting!” He mumbled to himself.

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_No, you’re not. ___

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Yes, I am! He thought.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_No, you’re not. Can’t even react properly to friendly teasing. ___

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Yeah, you’re right about that.

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourse- ___

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Useless, useless, useless, useless ___

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Promise me you’ll tell someone if you're feeling this way again.”

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I will,” Lance said to his older sister, Sophie.

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Lance cringed at this memory. he broke this promise so, so, so, so many times.

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered to himself. He didn’t know when whispering became talking, and talking became yelling.

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’M SO, SO, SORRY,” Lance said yelling.

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Kill yourself. They wouldn’t care. Their’s so many ways you could kill yourself on this ship! ___

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

They would care, they would care, they would care. Right? Lance couldn’t breathe. Every time he tried to open his eyes it hurt. he kept them closed. He couldn't breathe.

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Can’t breathe, can’t breathe, can’t breathe, can’t breathe, can’t breathe!” Lance was yelling. His voice was sore. He went back to whispering.

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe, just breathe, just breathe!” He whispered. His face so so red and tear streaked.

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_If they cared they would have come back for you._

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

No, no, no, no! They’re coming back right now wondering why you aren’t at breakfast. Then they’ll ask what’s wrong and you’ll tell them, and you’ll be fine.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_That’s a lie. ___

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Yeah.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He whispered.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Lance heard a noise in the background.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” he kept whispering.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“LANCE?” He heard someone scream. It was Hunk.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, 

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” He could hear now.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Shiro it’s Lance! I think he might be hurting himself.” Pidge said.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Lance, can you hear us?” Shiro asked. Lance couldn’t respond. He tried so hard but he couldn’t say anything except “I’m sorry.” and he couldn’t move.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“It’s locked!” Keith said.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Lance. Can you hear us?” Pidge said.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“LANCE?” Keith screamed knocking on the door.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so-” The door busted open.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Lance?” Shiro said. Lance didn;t respond, he was still sobbing. Shiro guided Lance to his bed.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Lance I was so worried! I thought you were hurt.” Hunk said. He was in tears as were the rest of his team. Why were they so worried?

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m fine. Mostly.” He said.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Lance, what happened?” Pidge asked. Lance couldn’t respond. He was still crying.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Do want to talk to one of us,” Shiro asked. He nodded.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Who?” Shiro asked.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Hunk,” Lance mumbled.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Let’s give Lance and Hunk some space,” Shiro said. They nodded and headed out of the room.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“What happened?” Hunk asked softly.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I had a panic attack. I don’t know why.” Lies “It was so bad Hunk. I don’t think I’ve ever had one so bad. Not even back at the Garrison.” Lance said sobbing again.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. After breakfast, Allura told us that training wasn’t very important and that it be fine if you missed it. Shiro tried to protest but I told them that you were stressed and that it would be good for you. I’m sorry.” Hunk said giving Lance a big bear hug. Lance soothed into the hug. Then he had a thought.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“How long was I gone?” Lance asked.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“About an hour.” Hunk said.

___________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Oh

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_See they don't care enough to be concerned. ___

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Did he really not matter enough for them to wonder why he was gone? No. Stop thinking like this. Hunk had his best interest in mind. He did care. Or else they wouldn’t have come back to check on him! Yeah! They cared!

_____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Do you want to skip the rest of training today, or are you good?” Hunk asked.

_____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I think I’m good.”

_____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You sure?”

_____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Yeah.” they cared about him.

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End file.
